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But you don't often hear the nitty-gritty details of how you might actually achieve those things? Bustle asked Vanessa Marind sex psychotherapisthow to have video and phone sex when you're in a long distance relationship — a must-know for anyone separated from their partner right now. If you've had a good sex life thus far, you might be apprehensive about how the switch to long-distance will affect your sex life. According to Marin, it can be jarring to go from seeing each other regularly to relying on technology for the vast majority of your interactions.
But the reality is you'll want to figure out a ses ways to broach the subject, especially if your goal is to create a stronger connection. So, how do you talk to your partner about sex?
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And why does it feel so strange? Couples may put off these conversations time and again because bringing these topics to light can mean rocking the boat or digging up some potentially embarrassing or unpleasant feelings.
In fact, communication chah the secret to good sexso start by getting yourself in the moodand then give a few of these conversation starters a try. Sensual couple lying in bed together, hugging after sex, talking and smiling, satisfied girlfriend and boyfriend enjoying romantic moment at home, looking in eyes, man holding in arms woman close up Shutterstock 1.
Start Off By Sexting One big advantage that sexting has over face-to-face interaction is the freedom it gives you to test the waters, share intimate cgat, and start a deeper conversation about sex — without the pressure of broaching the subject in person.
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Saying something simple like, "You know what I've always wanted to do The same goes for pointing out something your partner does that now counts as one of your new favorite turn-ons. Admit that you can't stop thinking about it, hage go from there.
Sending a steamy message in the middle of the day is way less intimidating, and can help break the ice. Not to mention, it totally counts as foreplay. Jess O'Reillya resident sexologist at Astroglidetells Bustle.
If a character is doing something you'd like to try, pointing it out is a natural way to begin talking about fantasies, new sex positions, or whatever else has been on your mind. Who knows, you might even want to start trying it right then and there. Alternately, if you're watching a scene that makes you uncomfortable, "ask them how it makes them feel," O'Reilly says, and be honest about why it's turning you off.
Is there something about ethics or morals? Or does it bring up bad memories? Letting your partner know is important so that they can be more aware of what you don't like, and support you in avoiding that going forward.
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It'll also be a great time to talk about consent. Even if you've been together forever, "you'll need to keep the conversation going," O'Reilly says, "as needs, interests, and boundaries vary from day to day. Pick A Good Time To Talk Of course, you can always take a deep breath and say, in a straightforward way, that you have a chwt things on your mind that you'd like to share. Grant, PsyDa d clinical therapist, tells Bustle. Kate Balestrieripsychologist and sex therapist, tells Bustle that it's best to havr about it beforehand.
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Ask your partner what they envision your sex life looking like when the two of you are apart. Get a sense of which words feel more natural to you than others.
You can also check out this list of options. You might find it easier to express yourself using pen and paper, vhat a more sultry side of your personality might emerge. You get to hear your partner's responses in real time, which makes it feel less isolating. Plus, it frees up your hands to do other things in the moment!
For an easy place to start, or a smooth way to transition into dirty talkbring up of your favorite memories of having sex together. That time we were on vacation in Mexico, and we started making out in the jacuzzi?
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Do you remember that? Per Ssx, here are some ideas for places to start: Turn the lights down in your room or light candles.
This is a sure-fire way to get some sexy talk going without having to initiate verbally. Turn the camera away when you feel awkward, but play it up as teasing him. Or ask them to tell you where he wants to touch. Use the camera to share cyat of the more intimate parts of your day with them. As you get more comfortable, try masturbating together over video chat.